


Mary Syndrome

by Expressive Dissonance (quietncryptic)



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 05:12:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietncryptic/pseuds/Expressive%20Dissonance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you implying that I raped you?" Sakura asked in disbelief. A drunken night leaves Sakura with a bun in the oven and on a wild goose chase.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mary Syndrome

**Author's Note:**

> This fic amuses me spectacularly because I have an actual friend who had a similar situation happen. The title is a joke between us as to the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy since I was the Naruto in her situation and told her bluntly that you needed to have sex to be pregnant, but when she laid it on me I was like, holy fuck how did that happen? Unbeta'd.

 

"You're pregnant."

Sakura blinked. "Come again?"

"I said, 'You're pregnant', Forehead."

It took her all of three seconds to think that over, and then she was rolling her eyes and glaring at her best friend. "Ok, joke's over, Ino-pig."

A slightly pitying look crossed the blonde's face as she stared back at Sakura. "Come on, you're supposed to be almost as smart as Shikamaru. Don't tell me you couldn't figure it out for yourself."

A lost look came into those pretty emerald eyes. "I…Ino…d-don't joke about something like that…"

Ino gaped. "Don't tell me you're in denial, billboard brow! Oh man, who's the lucky daddy by the way?"

Sakura was quiet for a while, her eyes dilated in shock as her face slowly paled. "Ino?"

The other woman straightened attentively, concern overshadowing her mirth. "What is it?"

"Remember that after party for Naruto and Hinata's engagement party a month ago?"

"Ah, yeah. The one at that bar downtown where you got smashed and Kakashi-sensei had to take you home because you were hitting on everything with a penis?"

The pink-haired girl grimaced. "Oh my god. I think…"

"NOT KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Ino shrieked. Horrified, she clasped her best friend on the arms and gave her a light shake. " _Tell me it wasn't him_!"

Sakura stared at Ino blankly for a moment. "Ino?"

"…Yeah?"

"I'm going to faint now."

" _Shit_ —!"

...

* * *

Pregnant. _Pregnant_. Preg-nant. PREG-NANT. _PREGNANT._ The word kept repeating itself in Sakura's mind over and over as she stared at the hospital room's ceiling desperately trying to remember the events that had led to her predicament.

_Holy fuck, I'm pregnant and my genin teacher might be the father._

"Oh my god," Sakura groaned, turning over and trying to smother herself with her pillow.

How could she have been so _stupid_? She knew she wasn't supposed to get a hold of any alcohol! Her brief, embarrassing experiences with the stuff under the Hokage's amused yet watchful eyes had proven she was definitely not cut out for that stuff. What had possessed her to drink in the first place? A dare? A bet? Naruto trying to loosen her up?

"Sakura-chan!" A loud voice yelled, and Sakura found herself being hoisted up and pulled into a stifling hug by her blond friend. For a moment, she could hardly catch her breath, then she was released as a babbling Naruto began grilling her on what had happened and why had he gotten a call from a distraught Ino about something being wrong with her.

"I was so worried—"  
"Naruto…"

"—thought you had gotten hurt or—"

" _Naruto_."

"—don't scare me like that, Sakura-chan! I can't take—"

"NARUTO!"

Her friend paused at her furious tone, his eyes wide as he took in her angry flush. Automatically, he took a step back, his body tensing in anticipation of a chakra-laden punch being thrown.

Sakura rolled her eyes at the cowering jonin. You'd think after years of her hitting him he'd realize he could heal almost anything she could do to him. "I'm not dying just pregnant, you idiot."

Those bright blue eyes widened further and Sakura winced at her own words. Oops. Maybe she should have let him know the news a bit gentler…

"P-pregnant?" Naruto squeaked, and Sakura was amused enough that the shock of the news was almost worth the look on his face. "But Sakura-chan, don't you have to have _sex_ for that to happen?"

Almost.

Sakura scowled at him. Was he trying to be a jerk on purpose? "Yeah. Remember your engagement party? Can you tell me exactly what I did?"

Naruto's features twisted in confusion as his nose scrunched up in thought. "Ahh, I think I remember you talking business with Gaara and baa-chan for a bit and then you went to the bar. You looked fine when you came back, but about thirty minutes later you were practically on Gaara's lap. And then when Neji came by you said something and Tenten looked like she wanted to rip your eyes out…"

"My life is over," Sakura moaned, burying her face in her hands. "I can't believe I made such a fool of myself…"

"…Sakura-san?" a voice asked quietly from the doorway. Cautious sea foam eyes stared at her, and Sakura found herself smiling nervously in return. "Hello, Gaara-san, aren't you supposed to be getting ready to go back to Suna?"

Sakura was aware that the Kazekage was in Konoha on business. She had also seen and spoken to him on various occasions about Suna's medical budget and equipment requirements when he had been cleaning out the corrupt council. While he was a bit quiet, he was very intense about things important to him and he'd also proven himself to be an excellent leader despite his young age and various political (and personal) enemies.

It also helped that he'd grown from the psychotic little jinchuuriki who thought his mom was a bloodthirsty bijuu into a quietly handsome man with his own fanclub of kunoichi that had spread throughout the elemental nations after the war he'd led them in.

"I have another day," he explained quietly, his normally unreadable eyes softening in concern as they settled on her form. "I was in the room when she told Naruto you were here," he said, which further explained his presence. "It was...worrying."

"Ah," she said a little awkwardly, suddenly remembering Naruto's words about her interaction with him. Should she bring it up and apologize or leave it be? He'd certainly never given any indication that he remembered her acting stupid, so why bring it up? They weren't exactly strangers given her role in the mission to save his life and her presence in her shishou's meetings with him and his tendency to seek Naruto out while in Konoha, but sometimes it was hard to tell what he thought of her. If she was completely honest, she'd say she tentatively thought of him as a friend, but he probably just considered her a mutual acquaintance.

"Gaara! Can you believe Sakura-chan is—"

A fist smashed down on Naruto's head, effectively silencing the blond as he clutched at his aching head.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined, giving her his usual betrayed look.

"Idiot! Not everyone needs to know!" Sakura hissed angrily as she cracked her knuckles in warning.

A cautious glance at the doorway revealed a puzzled Gaara, who was looking at them both with the faintest hint of curiosity and a bit more concern.

"Don't worry, Gaara-san, I'll be fine! Naruto's just exaggerating."

At his less than convinced look, she cleared her throat. For some reason, she couldn't quite look him in the eye and a flush spread over her cheeks. "I promise it's not life-threatening or anything. It's just something I have to deal with on my own."

The redhead continued to stare at her, an odd emotion flitting through his eyes as he stared at her, his pale hands absently tugging at the collar of his kage robes. "I hope you get well soon, Sakura-san," he said somewhat awkwardly. Oddly enough, his eyes focused on her flushed face before his lips quirked up lightly.

"I will," she said firmly, ignoring the odd flutter in her belly at her friend's show of concern. Hey, she was single and perfectly healthy. Anyone would be flattered.

And that was that.

...

* * *

Ino stared in fascination at Sakura as the pink haired woman poked despairingly at her stomach in front of her vanity mirror. A small, increasingly noticeable bump softened her stomach and Sakura was still finding it hard to believe that it was the beginnings of a baby.

"So, when are you going to tell him?"

Sakura bit her lip and grimaced as she looked at her friend. It had been almost two months after Ino had revealed her delicate state to her, and she had taken it upon herself to duck and dodge her former sensei with uncanny vigor. Luckily for her, he was lazy when he wanted to be and probably had been busy enough that he'd barely noticed her lack of seeking him out for ramen at Ichiraku's with Naruto.

"Still avoiding him, huh? You're gonna have to tell him sometime," Ino sing-songed the last bit, her blue eyes practically glowing as she teased her friend.

"That's not it," Sakura grumbled.

"Then what's the problem?"

The pink haired woman said something quietly under her breath, and the blonde nurse snorted in amusement. "What was that now?"

"I said, 'What if he doesn't remember or what if he thinks I was a bad lay?'" she murmured, a pink flush staining her cheeks.

Ino chortled. "So it's not the fact that you slept with your teacher that bothered you, it's the fact that he might think you sucked in the sack?"

Well when it was put that way…

Sakura blushed. "You can't blame me. I mean, he hasn't looked at me any differently or even said anything to indicate that he's even seen me naked." She scowled just the tiniest bit. "It's kind of insulting really."

"Poor, Forehead," Ino mocked, patting lightly at Sakura's baby bump. "Don't worry baby, Auntie Ino will makeup an awesome love at first sight romance about your parents to tell you when you're older."

"Please don't," Sakura groaned, wiping her hands down her face.

"So…how are you gonna hide this tummy of yours?"

Sakura pursed her lips. "I can't for much longer. I'll tell him I swear…but I have to know why first. I won't tell him until I find out what made him do it."

Ino shrugged, tugging at her ponytail. "You're the mama here."

Sakura gave a grim smile. "Unfortunately."

...

* * *

"Kaka-sensei!"

Hearing his former female student's voice caught the former ANBU member's attention as he glanced up questioningly from his Icha Icha book. He squinted for a moment then his eye happily closed into its usual cheerful curve. "Ah, Sakura. It's been awhile. Tsunade keeping you busy?"

For a second, Sakura felt almost guilty about avoiding her old sensei. He had no idea she'd been doing it on purpose and had assumed her job at the hospital was keeping her from spending time with him. She forced herself to smile. "It's nothing I can't handle. How are you though, sensei?"

Kakashi paused and she knew she hadn't been quite successful enough to hide the strain in her voice. "Same as always, I suppose. Something on your mind?"

 _Perceptive bastard_ , Sakura thought affectionately.

"Actually, I was wondering…do you remember the night of Hinata and Naruto's engagement?"

A hint of amusement stole over Kakashi's face. "How could I forget? My adorable student was so thoroughly smashed she could barely remember her own name."

Sakura paused expectantly when he stopped talking. At his curious look, she scowled impatiently. "You took me home, right?"

Now the silver-haired jonin looked decidedly sheepish as he scratched at his cheek. "Well, that was the plan…"

"Did you take advantage of me?" she demanded.

The single eye visibly widened. "What? Where'd you get that idea?"

"Well you were last one seen with me and—"

"—Gai challenged me to a drinking match at the the last minute, so I let Lee-kun take over from there. You seemed to have no protests if I recall correctly," he said hurriedly, and he looked decidedly wary.

Sakura felt the world tilt on its axis. "S-say that again?"

Now he looked slightly worried. "Sakura-chan, I didn't take you home. Lee did."

_Lee did._

Her life…was officially over.

...

* * *

"Ino," Sakura whimpered, and the blonde medic looked up in alarm at the doorway of her family's flower shop.

Her friend was dangerously teary-eyed, her lip trembling as she stumbled her way to Ino's arms. After a moment of frantic hugging with Sakura sobbing and gasping unintelligible words into her shoulder, the Yamanaka woman had finally had enough. She took her friend by the shoulders and lightly shook her shuddering form.

"Snap out of it, girl! Now, what's wrong?"

"K-Kaka-sen-Lee-he—"

More half-broken sobs were forthcoming, and then Ino rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Get a grip," she said sharply. "You'll make yourself and the baby sick if you keep this up."

There was faint nod then several noisy sniffles before the pink haired ninja rose to her proper height and gratefully took the handkerchief Ino produced from somewhere. She blew heartily. "I'm sorry, I just—I don't know how to feel right now…"

"Hormones?" Ino inquired, but she had the feeling that this was way more than just the pregnancy at work.

"Worse," Sakura said grimly. "Kakashi-sensei told me something that's changed everything."

Eager for gossip, the other woman leaned closer, her blue eyes widening. "What? Did he admit to it? Did he confess undying love to you?"

"I…he…" Sakura breathed carefully through her nose. "He wasn't the one who took me home," she confessed.

Ino eyes looked like saucers as she gaped at her friend. "So then…he's not the father. But Sakura…who took you home then?"

"It was Lee," she fairly wailed, lips wobbling.

Ino was the one who fainted this time.

...

* * *

Push, _a doctor was saying, and she obeyed, body clenching tight with the pain as she bore down…_

_Finally, the pressure eased and the doctor reached down to gather her child. They cleaned and washed the baby and then they flipped open the bright blue blanket to show her his little face._

_Enormous eyebrows pinched over a full head of bowl-cut pink hair met her sight and her mouth was suddenly open in a terrified scream—_

"Ino!" Sakura cried, and gave her friend a firm slap on the cheek.

The blonde barely noticed the blow, her eyes wide and her breathing harsh as she wildly looked around her own living room.

 _What a weird dream_ , Ino thought, jerkily rising from the couch, and then she realized the source of that dream in distressed green eyes peering at her from under cherry blossom pink hair.

Damn her clan's natural empathy for others. She'd be having nightmares about that for weeks.

"Lee," Ino hissed as if personally affronted. "Couldn't you have picked someone a little more normal at the least?"

Sakura looked decidedly mortified. "It's not like I was lucid enough to know the difference!"

"I'll say," Ino snorted.

Silence fell on the two friends as they looked at one another.

Ino shook her head. "Man, this just seems so unreal."

Sakura twitched. "And you're not even the one pregnant."

Face pinched, Sakura buried her face in her hands and gave a deep sigh. "How am I supposed to…?"

Ino pursed her lips. "You can't wait forever like last time. If you want much longer you'll be obviously pregnant and finding out the same time as everyone else that the woman you got pregnant didn't tell you doesn't seem like a very good idea."

The pink haired woman puffed out her cheeks and nodded reluctantly. "Alright, I guess I might as well get this over with."

...

* * *

"Ah, it's the lovely Sakura-san! You're looking particularly spirited and youthful today!"

As Lee began trilling in about the joys of youth and exercise, Sakura could feel the headache brewing and pressed her forehead into one palm. This would take forever if she beat around the bush.

"I'm pregnant, Lee."

There was a surprised pause then dark brows were furrowing together before a joyful expression crossed the taijutsu master's face. "Why that is wonderful news, Sakura-san! I'm sure the father must be very happy to have consummated your youthful love –"

Wait. Hold up, rewind. Sakura frowned. "The father?" Didn't Lee understand?

Lee paused in the midst of pumping his fist in the air and gave her a puzzled stare, then he looked distinctly uncomfortable. "You have had the Talk already, right Sakura-san? If not I could always ask Gai-sensei to—"

"No! I know where—t-that's ok, Lee-san! I'm really tired so it took me a second to catch on," she hedged, frantically waving her hands.

 _What the hell_ , Inner Sakura chimed in, suitably confused. _Something's not adding up here…_

"Ah, Lee I have a question for you."

"Yes, Sakura-san?"

"The night of Naruto and Hinata's engagement party…do you remember taking me home?"

A contrite expression crossed his face. "I failed in my mission to return you safely home, Sakura-san, I am sorry! I did 5,000 pushups as compensation, but you were simply too slippery for me to keep up with!"

"I-I see," she whispered, trying not to panic.

 _Oh god just who the hell did we give it up to?_ Inner Sakura wailed.

Sakura really wished she had an answer.

...

* * *

That night, Sakura lay in bed, her hand absently smoothing over the bump on her belly. It was odd, she never thought she'd be one of those types of girls to run off and get pregnant in some one night stand.

She was always known as the responsible one in their team. Sure she'd had a ferocious and notorious crush on Uchiha Sasuke, but nothing had ever come of it; or rather, she'd never considered the implications of having sex be the eventual outcome of the aloof Uchiha falling for her back before he'd deserted the village and she'd been a stupid fangirl. She'd never really been _ready_ for sex. She was far too busy and practical to think of it the way other girls did.

And now that she'd finally done the deed-so to speak-it had come with a hell of a package of consequences. She would never remember the night she'd lost her virginity, she'd never remember who it was with, and all she'd gotten out of it was a baby she wasn't even sure what to do with.

She was a dedicated kunoichi, a strong, bull-headed ninja who spent most of her days saving or ending lives. Where did she have room in her life for a child?

Sakura stroked her stomach one last time before sighing and turning on her side.

"Don't worry," she whispered into the darkness of her bedroom. "We're in this together now, kid."

…

* * *

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan! Come with us to breakfast this morning!" was the first thing she woke up to.

Groaning, the kunoichi made a bleary face at her teammate, who was perched on her open window balcony beaming at her. Perched shyly in a tree behind him was Hinata, who looked apologetically at Sakura.

"S-sorry, but he insisted," she murmured. "If you don't mind we would like to take you out with us and Gaara-san, Sakura-chan."

Sakura groaned. "Gaara's in on this too?"

"He's gonna meet us there before he gets ready to go back to Suna," Naruto confirmed. "But seriously, you need to get out, you've been sulking around for the last few months and it feels like I hardly see you anymore!"

Sakura sighed, realizing he was right. She scowled at him. "Fine, get out so I can get dressed," she growled.

…

* * *

In theory, Sakura decided she could have done herself a huge favor by remembering that certain foods didn't agree with her in the morning.

They had finally made their way to a restaurant—despite Naruto's protests that Ichiraku's would be better—and were waiting on their meals, but the smells permeating the restaurant were subtly starting to get to Sakura. Not wanting to worry her friends, she'd stayed quietly and silently suffered, but even with Naruto babbling on as usual, the pale sea-foam eyes staring her down were obviously aware that something else was going on.

The pink haired kunoichi stiffly reached out for her water glass and took a light sip, hoping to quell the nausea a bit. Thankfully it helped a bit and she slowly relaxed, and even managed to get in a word a two between Naruto's exaggerated tales of their old team.

At least until the actual food arrived.

Or, more specifically, _Gaara's_ food arrived. The instant the server had put the steaming, foul-smelling plate of god-knows-what in front of the stoic shinobi, she had paled dramatically, and then rapidly turned green, alarming all three of her friends as she made a light gagging noise before leaping up from the table and barreling her way through the startled clientele to the bathroom.

A puzzled, worried silence had descended on the table and then Hinata had hurried off to join Sakura in the bathroom to check on her well-being.

"Sakura-chan...Are you alright?" Hinata called softly. A soft moan led her to the closest stall in the bathroom and she opened it to see her pink-haired friend curled up over the toilet bowl. Thankfully she'd already flushed but the smell of bile and sickness was in the air, and it made the dark haired kunoichi wince in sympathy.

"Fine...I'm fine," Sakura said, coughing a bit to clear her sore throat. She hated this morning sickness bullshit! How she could have forgotten to warn them before hand, she wasn't quite sure...

And now, she realized with a sinking heart, she'd have to tell them so they wouldn't worry or think she had some terminal disease or something.

"Help me up, Hinata?" she asked, resigned to getting this over with. The other woman complied and a quick mouth-rinse and hand washing saw both women returning to the table. Sakura was both amused and touched at Hinata's discreet usage of healing chakra over her nauseous tummy. They returned to the booth and Gaara was the one to help Sakura into her seat, his lightly furrowed brow a testament to his unease. Naruto was near beside himself with worry, and only Hinata's gentle hand on his elbow prevented him from taking her to the hospital.

"I'll be ok," she said to the table as a whole, taking a light, soothing sip of her drink. Thankfully, Gaara had eaten his meal in her absence, so she took a deep breath and poked at her own cooling miso soup.

"You look ill," Gaara said sharply, and Sakura blinked in surprise as she stared at his narrowed eyes. To her shock, he reached out with a pale hand and laid the back of it against her forehead, making her gape and blush.

"Oh," Sakura said dumbly, as she realized he was actually genuinely worried about her. Maybe they were on more friendly terms than she thought? She gave a wan smile. "It's pretty normal for a woman in my condition to do stuff like that."

"Condition?" All three ninja echoed, and Sakura rolled her eyes.

She figured it was best to do it quick, like jerking off a band aid. "I'm pregnant," she announced.

Gaara jerked back like he'd been struck by a lightning jutsu, his usually calm expression ruined by his widened eyes. Naruto had the grace to look embarrassed that he'd forgotten, and Hinata was blushing with her hands covering her mouth.

"Yeah, that about sums it up," she joked.

…

* * *

"You can't do this Tsunade-sama! I'm still perfectly capable of performing my duties-!"

"And I say I _can_. You're eight and a half months pregnant, Sakura!"

"So what! I can still walk, so—"

"Fine. If you refuse to take care of yourself then I'll simply appoint a new head medic that actually has sense enough to know to take the advice she gives her own patients. Maybe Ino will get you to sit your ass down somewhere," she said slyly.

Sakura gaped in horrified dismay. "That's not fair!"

"Either you take the extended leave and come back to your position once your maternity time is up, or you lose it completely for exhibiting poor judgment. Your choice."

The pink haired medic nin looked to be on the verge of angry tears. Her hands clenched, but she gave a tight nod. "I understand."

The older woman smiled pleasantly, her amber eyes gradually softening. She always had liked Sakura, but sometimes it took tough love to get that girl to understand things. "Don't worry, it's only about six or so months. You'll be in tip-top in no—Sakura?"

Sakura had gone ashen and her eyes dilated. Tsunade felt her worry come back; she wasn't keen on forcing Sakura into compliance but it was necessary…"It's not that long," she tried to reassure.

"That's not it," her former apprentice whispered. "Tsunade-sama..."

The Hokage leaned forward. "What's wrong?"

Wide green eyes looked at brown and Sakura's pale face pinched as she uncomfortably shifted. Shortly after, a quiet but unmistakably wet sound broke the silence.

"Oh no…no no! Not in _my_ office!"

"Sorry," Sakura said contritely as Tsunade began to openly panic.

...

* * *

To some women, going through labor was the single most beautiful event of their lives.

To Sakura, it was the most intense bout of cramps and discomfort of her _life_. She'd seen this entire process countless times throughout her career but she'd never expected to be the one _experiencing_ it one day.

How naive.

"Do you want the drugs?" Tsunade asked, her brows creased in worry at her student's pained face.

As she lay panting in bed, Ino's concerned face hovering over her own, Sakura considered the hours of labor that lay ahead of her. The increasing force of contractions, the pain of dilation, no hand to hold onto during it…

"Yes," she fairly demanded.

After that everything was a fine-edged blur that made her wonder if someone had gotten the dosage wrong. Surely she shouldn't have been this out of focus. She could feel the bustle around her, but felt oddly disconnected from it. The weight and pressure in her body was centered entirely below her waist and she clenched her wrists in sympathy as her legs reflexively curled against the hazy pain subtly gripping her.

Deep breaths, she thought, I need to _breathe_.

At some point she felt something warm and firm gripping one of her hands and was immensely grateful for that fleeting contact in the haze of pain and blood that followed. The blur of gold and orange and maroon and black was vaguely familiar, but she couldn't quite think of why.

All she knew was that she felt safe.

A few hours later, a tiny, thin-framed little boy with suspiciously red hair was born.

Sakura took one bleary, drugged up look at him, thought of all the red-haired people she knew and abruptly squeaked, "Oh _hell_ ," before promptly passing out.

...

* * *

Somehow, Sakura was less than surprised to wake and find the Kazekage sitting in a chair next to the bed holding her child as if it were made of glass.

She gave him a long, searching look, taking note of his return stare filled with traces of awe, guilt, fear, and faintly anger before her eyes were drawn to the bundle that was quietly sleeping in his arms. Her arms reached out, and he looked at her hesitantly before carefully transferring the bundle to her arms.

Delicately, she traced her finger along the perfect pale cheek and cute little nose-which she was sure resembled a certain kage's-and kissed her little boy on his unruly mop of red hair before returning her gaze to Gaara.

Sensing that his silence was not going to be broken anytime soon, Sakura opened her mouth, closed it, and then furrowed her brow in confusion. " _What the hell_?" was all she could manage.

"You didn't tell me," Gaara's voice accused quietly.

Sakura felt her temper flare in response. " _The fuck_ ," she whispered, trying to regulate her voice in order to not wake the baby. "I didn't even know we slept together, or how this even happened! How do I know you didn't use some freaky sand-sperm jutsu to knock me up?"

Gaara's eye twitched and his scowl matched hers. "Are you deliberately being obtuse? Are you looking to use him," his hand waved in the baby's direction, "as some form of collateral?"

" _ **What?**_ " she fairly roared, and winced when the baby whimpered. Seething, she rocked the baby gently in her arms even as she burned a hole into the Kazekage's stupid face. "What the hell are you talking about, Gaara? I was perfectly content doing the stuff I normally do, then one day at work I collapsed because I hadn't been eating right and Ino tells me I'm _pregnant_! I had no idea how because I didn't even remember sleeping with anyone, so I had no idea who had taken my virginity and made me a mother and didn't even have the decency to try and contact me afterwards! The only time I can think of that it might have happened is at Naruto and Hinata's engagement party!"

Throughout her little rant Gaara's eyes had been slowly widening, the angry look had been replaced by shock, concern, then hurt, and finally guilt. "You didn't remember," he concluded quietly.

"No shit!" she muttered, glaring fiercely at him. The nerve of this guy!

"I'm sorry," the Kazekage muttered, running his hands through his hair tiredly as he blinked at her. "You were fine at first, but then you returned from the bar and were clearly intoxicated," he started, and Sakura realized that he was referring to the night of the party.

"Kakashi-san was supposed to take you home, but I found you wandering near the training grounds in..." a light blush stained his cheeks, "...in your undergarments and singing. I took you home, but you insisted that I come in. You were very...friendly and somehow managed to unfasten my clothing without my notice. You did not seem to be stopping anytime soon despite my attempts to dislodge you and...well, I am a man as well as a kage," he muttered, clearly embarrassed.

Sakura was torn between laughter and tears. "Are you implying that I raped you?" Sakura asked in disbelief.

Gaara's head snapped up, eyes narrowed. " _No_ ," he hissed. "I merely did not protest as hard as I should have."

The pink-haired woman laughed hollowly. "That makes it _so_ much better," she said sarcastically. Then a thought occurred to her. She glared. "If you knew we slept together, then why didn't you ever _say_ anything?"

"I thought you were ashamed," he confessed quietly, averting his eyes. "I was told by my sister that sometimes ninja who have...encounters wish to be discreet, so I did not pursue the issue when you refused to acknowledge me."

Oh. _Oh_. Now Sakura felt like a bit of a heel. The guy had thought she was rejecting him after all this time because she'd been way too plastered to remember. Damn. Given what Naruto had told her of Gaara's past, being ignored like that had probably hurt his feelings more than just a little. Especially since she hadn't really seen much indication that the guy was an avid dater or anything.

"Sorry," she said awkwardly. Silence settled on the room again and both parties studiously avoided looking at the other until another thought occurred to Sakura. Her lips twitched until her shoulders began shaking, and then she was full on chuckling after a moment. Seeing Gaara's curious glance, she sneaked a glance at the baby sleeping in her arms before giving him a light grin.

"You know, the day I found out I was pregnant I was worried that you might not like me as more than an acquaintance. I guess I was wrong," she snickered. A quick glance showed that Gaara had his own lips turned up into a smirk. Apparently, the irony wasn't lost on him either.

"So," Sakura said, staring down at her kid, "...what do we do now?"

A large hand reached out and lightly touched the bundle. "I would ask if you would want to go out on a date, but I fear we've already skipped past that part," he murmured, and if Sakura didn't know any better, she'd say that the stoic Kazekage was _embarrassed_.

"I don't mind," she blurted. Seeing at Gaara's nonplussed response, she giggled.

"My mother always said that babies are made from love...so there's gotta be _something_ there to work from," she said, firmly meeting his unique colored eyes.

"We'll see," Gaara said.

And Sakura believed him.


End file.
